View in gallery A conversation can happen when you least expect and often when you are least prepared. So just how exactly do you get a conversation flowing with an old man whose schnauzer is sniffing your crotch or the high school stud who now stacks shelves last the local supermarket? Well, there are, no doubt, several ways. However, the most effective is always to have a few handy conversation starters primed and ready for use. So, in this article, we will arm you with a plethora of helpful conversation topics that can get you through even the most awkward social situations.
First, What Are Conversation Starters?
A conversation starter is precisely that: A starting point from which a conversation can bloom. The most common form is a short broad-ended question. One that allows the askee to respond in any number of ways. When you look into it, there is a wide range of conversation starters, which can be used based on the length and type of conversation you’re interested in having. For example, if you’re pushed for time, you will want to avoid lengthy discussion-based topics in favor of something more formal and high-level. It avoids being rude but doesn’t derail your day and set you behind schedule. Not only are they an excellent way for you to start a conversation without any awkwardness, but they also act as a handy gauge too. After all, a conversation needs at least two people. Perhaps you are not the only one disinterested in the exchange. Conversation starters also allow you to get a feel for the other person’s interest in having a natter. Of course, both of you may be just observing social niceties. Better then, to nip it in the bud and both move on with your day. Let’s look at some of the best conversation topics for different social situations.
The Generalist – 10 Good Conversation Starters for All Occasions
Every conversation starts with a single statement or question. It doesn’t matter if you are talking to the queen, your brother, your partner, or a random stranger on the bus. Of course, sometimes those questions are more challenging to think of than others, especially when working on the fly. But the following list provides some excellent examples of great conversation starters that can be used in pretty much any situation. From that first post-argument Thanksgiving dinner conversation to awkward accidental meet-ups in the supermarket, these conversation starters are solid, dependable, and can get you through any situation. Note – Should you ever meet the queen, different conversations protocols are required.
1. How Was Your Day Today?
This is a great opening question and one of the most basic examples of conversation starters. It’s the core mix of interest and politeness. It is as open-ended a conversation topic as you are ever going to find. Using it should be second nature to all of us. However, just because it’s a straightforward question doesn’t mean that it is always the best question to lead with. As with any interaction, you need to read the situation a little before diving in. So while this question should be a safe bet 99% of the time, just keep your senses tuned for that one instance where it is not.
2. Crazy Weather Today, Right?
Obviously, this one gets changed based on the actual weather. As far as good topics for starting a conversation, the weather is an excellent neutral topic that doesn’t include any personal opinions. It is a statement of fact—the perfect ice breaker for when talking to new people or if you are feeling slightly nervous. One word of caution would be that pop culture might be pushing this starter into satire territory. It’s a code question used when you don’t really want a chat but are too nice just to say so… no wonder it’s such a British topic of discussion.
3. Are You Having a Good Time?
While this might be something you can say in the bedroom, it is also one of the classic conversation starters. You can bust it out in any situation to strike up a conversation with a total stranger. It works just as well on friends, of course; but whether you are looking to pick up someone in a bar or just break the ice at a business convention, this is a safe starting point. It’s also a fun conversation topic because you might have two very differing views on things, which then sets up a great conversation.
4. What Are You up to These Days?
This is a dynamite question and one of my favorite conversation starters. It is a safe question in many ways, but it can easily lead to the best conversations. If you enjoy meeting people and learning about what makes them tick, then this should be your go-to question. You simply never know what people are going to say. Granted, it is a bit of a gamble because they could just answer with a short, simple, nothing. However, you stand to gain far more than you lose.
5. Tell Me About Yourself
I was on the fence about adding this one, as I feel it is a little presumptuous to be placed on a list of conversations starters. However, a conversation doesn’t have to happen instantly, and this question could come after another party has already handled the basic introductions. Again, this is a classic conversation question and focuses on the askee and demonstrates your skills as a listener. There is a reason it’s a common question to ask a potential love interest. Depending on what the person reveals, this question can lead to all manner of interesting conversation topics. Just be prepared for when the question is turned on you. Because when you have a dialogue with someone, many questions always get mirrored back.
6. Where Do You Come From?
Be careful with this one! This is a great introductory question to kick-start any sort of discussion. If you’re traveling or talking to someone who has an accent or is open about their newcomer status, then this is a no-brainer. It shows your interest in not only a conversation but in that specific person. You are establishing not just a chat but building a connection with the people involved. The result is often a far more personal conversation. With that in mind, you should, therefore, only really use conversation starters such as this if you are genuinely interested in chatting about that person, not just with them.
7. What Are You Working on Right Now?
This is very much a general conversation start but one that has a time and a place. For example, it might not be the very best question to start a conversation with a stranger, such as a person sitting next to you on the bus. However, if you are in a business situation or maybe at a meet-up, then it’s not only valid but encouraged. Talking to people about what they are working on is a great way to learn more about them. Moreover, it is a great way to find inspiration for your own endeavors. Beating bad habits, adjusting to the challenges of a new job, or even getting through a favorite TV series are all valid and interesting responses that all spur on further conversation. Conversations are an excellent opportunity to learn, and asking the right questions is a great way to do just that.
8. How Was Your Week?
This question is another excellent generalist starting point. Sure, it might sound like some of the other conversation starters on this list. However, no matter how deep, every chat has to start somewhere. Asking someone how things are going is a gentle way to kick things off. Of course, using this question is somewhat time-based. Asking someone on a Tuesday may be a little premature. However, once Thursday evening hits and the weekend crests the horizon, it’s a perfect reflective question to start a discussion.
9. Have You Watched Anything Good Lately?
This particular question is a several-in-one kind of starting point. So rather than list each individual question, I would say just interchange watched with your verb of choice:
ListenedReadHeard
These are the core consumption methods for books, movies, music, and podcasts and are thus an excellent topic for conversation starters with anybody. Moreover, they segue naturally into easy but revealing topics like the worst movie ever, favorite fictional character, or even a guilty pleasure. They even work in group settings. So whether you have shared interests or vastly different, the opportunities for an organic chin-wag are great.
10. Where Is Your Favorite Place to Travel?
If you are a fan of traveling or have been lucky enough to see various parts of the world, then this is a great conversation starter. You may discover a shared hobby that can lead to very long conversations. There is even the chance of meeting someone who shares a love of the same location. That could lead to a night of story-swapping, tips, and restaurant recommendations. A great way to spend an evening and improve your next visit to said location. All conversations are sources of information, providing you ask the right questions. You hit the conversational jackpot by combining the right ones with the right topic.
Reboot – 10 Deep Conversation Starters
Sometimes it is not breaking the ice that causes pause for thought, but rather that awkward midpoint. You know, that point where you’ve been chatting for a bit and have approached the threshold of a natter and need something to push you into something a little deeper. The social niceties have been taken care of, and any continued talk is done out of genuine interest with the possibility of a real connection over time. The following meaningful conversation starters can be used as an opener but are perfect for after the ice has broken and you want to get down to the real interaction.
1. What Inspires You?
You can, of course, play around with the phrasing of this topic. However, it is one of the all-time great deep conversation starters. Why? Because the answers and the resulting dialogue can be a great learning opportunity. Related Reading: 75 Inspirational Football Quotes Not only do you learn about the person you are talking to. This is a great way to establish a connection that runs deeper than trivialities, but you also stand to learn a little about the world. We all find inspiration in different things and different places. Whether you find a shared inspiration or not, this is one of those conversation topics that keeps on giving. It also opens the doors to any number of channels for continued talking.
2. What Is Your Biggest Regret?
Regrets are something we all have. Even those who say they ‘don’t do’ regrets will have them. It’s impossible to get to any age where you have consciousness of your actions and resulting consequences and not have things you wish you’d done differently. From an embarrassing moment to a biggest mistake, we’ve all got something to share. When you find yourself embroiled in a flagging conversation yet eager to keep things alive, then this is one of the best questions you can ask. Not only are the answers always interesting, but they give you great insight into the real person you are talking it. It also brings with it a vulnerability that will help forge your connection.
3. What is the One Thing You Cannot Live Without
This is a fantastic question to ask when you really want to find out who you are talking to. You can tell a lot about a person based on what they value. That is why, when looking at mid-flow conversations starters, this is a verbal goldmine. There is any number of possible results that could come along–such as turning around and walking away should the answer be WiFi or lip filler–to any number of diverging conversation paths should the answers be something less shallow. However, you need to time this one because it is so powerful. So you need to bring it in under the right circumstances and during the part of the conversation.
4. Do You Play Any Video Games?
I’m a gamer, so this is one of my all-time favorite go-to questions when looking for conversation starters. Now, of course, depending on where you are, this question can be a bit hit or miss. Me, I’m confident enough to ask anybody about games… or wrestling. Of course, many people may be a little more reserved. However, when looking for conversation starters for teens, this is a cannot-fail question. You can tell a lot about a person based on the video games they play. If they their favorite game is Candy Crush, just turn around, smiling sweetly, and walk away. For the rest, there is always a fun conversation to be had between two gamers, regardless of preferred genres.
5. When You Were Younger What Did You Want to be When You Grew Up?
This is a long question but a great one between two adults who have progressed beyond the shallow interactions and entered the open water of a deep conversation. Not many of us can look back and say we nailed the dream job we had as kids. It is an interesting question on many levels, not just for its ability to reignite a conversation. From race car drivers and astronauts to bus drivers and bin men, the different avenues you could head down will keep you nattering the whole night through.
6. How Do You Think Covid-19 Is Going to Change the World and How We Live?
Covid-19 has forever altered the present. However, how do we see it changing the future? Will we change as a species? Will the small world become a larger place once more? What is this new normal, and will we ever go back to our old ways? These are all sub-questions that will effortlessly flow from this topical question. When you’re looking for deep conversation topics, you can’t get better than a global pandemic.
7. What’s the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You?
We are all creatures of experience. The things we do, see and live through go a great way to shaping the life we live. It’s also a lovely positive question to ask that will get you all talking about the good things in life. You will be surprised at how quickly a bond and a conversation can develop when you start reminiscing about the highlights of your life. You may also find some common ground that can, in itself, lead to further talking points. Many people struggle to talk openly about their successes. Hence, conversation starters like this are great to push all parties of the conversation into sharing things they may otherwise keep hidden but should be proud of. It could be publishing a book, running a successful website, or notable charitable endeavors.
8. Would you Rather Win $1 Million or $10,000 a Month for Life?
I like using this question when getting to know people. It’s an interesting one with no right or wrong answer, yet it tells you a lot about the person you are talking to. I have found that those with more reckless and impulsive persuasion take the lump sum. While those that are more careful realize the consistency of the smaller amount is safer and ultimately more fruitful. It doesn’t mean that either answer is correct or that you should back out of a conversation with someone who wants that millionaire status. It’s just a good question to help boost a conversation.
9. Is Cereal Soup?
This may sound like a crazy question, but sometimes when looking for deep conversation topics, you need to go a little bit surreal. If not just to get people thinking outside of the box. Creativity is a beautiful dialogue catalyst, too, so where the conversation could go from there is anybody’s guess. At first, people might dismiss the notion, but as you start talking about it, you can see everybody start thinking about the concept. That’s the intention of a question like this. It’s not to be right or to be wrong, but to have a creative discussion that also brings a smile to the faces of those involved.
10. Where Do You See Yourself in 5/10 Years
If you’re thinking about some solid mid-conversation starters, then you really need to have this classic on your list. It’s a question that will get thrown at you a lot over the years. It is also a great question once you reach that deep point of a conversation. See Also: 200 Good Questions for Couples Many people think that conversation starters are for when you’re talking to new people. However, conversations with friends and people you know well can be equally stagnant from time to time. So while you might not bust this one out when you’re hitting on someone in a bar, you can unsheath it without fear when talking to a good friend.
Matchmaker – 10 Best Tinder Conversation Starters
So, it’s time for you to put your foot into the dating world. You’ve gone all out, and created the best-looking Tinder profile, and are waiting for people to start swiping in the right direction. But then, panic sets in. What are you going to talk about with this plethora of romantic interests? Your mind is blank. How can you impress people while sitting there stuttering and trying to spit out a coherent sentence? If you are serious about dating and finding that special someone, you need to ask the right questions. We’re not saying that a first date is an interview, but… It kind of is. If you find yourself a bit stuck when on a date, we have you covered with these killer conversation starters that will help you break the ice and make a good impression. Don’t worry about flirting with your date just yet. That will come later in the evening. For now, let’s just focus on making a good impression.
1. What Sort of Music Do You Like?
This is a tremendous get-to-know-you question and one of the classic first-date conversation starters. It’s a relatively neutral question that can still spawn many interesting conversational paths. Musical tastes are interesting things to discuss because music impacts our lives in so many different ways. On top of that, your differences are not a deal-breaker and, if anything, can be a good thing. After all, they say opposites attract. That said, if you like gangster rap and she says she only listens to her local choir on a Sunday and all other music is a sin, maybe the next question from your mouth should be asking for the check.
2. Where Are You From?
This is an excellent first-date question and a remarkable ice-breaking conversation initiator. It’s a safe question because you’re asking it in the interest of getting to know that person. There is a strong chance that as adults, you have both seen and done things in life. These events and moments make for great talking points and can keep you both nattering through all three courses. There may be any number of shared events and occurrences over which you can bond. Don’t forget the differences in what you’ve both been through are equally important. Sharing information and experiences is a great way to get close to someone.
3. What’s Your Favorite Meal
Food is usually always a safe topic of conversation for a first date. It’s one of those conversation starters that is clearly just a preliminary question but one that is accepted as part of the dating process. It is also a great conversation to gather data. As we said above, first dates are like interviews. You glean certain bits that you can then use later. For example, if you remember their favorite thing and then cook it for them the first time you have them around, then you are going to score some major brownie points.
4. What Sort of Movies Do You Like Best?
Movies are another solid conversation topic that presents a base for a branching dialogue. When looking at navigating the nerve-wracking waters of a first date, you want conversation topics that will allow for neutral discussions. We all hold back when first getting to know new people, so these topics are solid first choices. If you’re a fan of vintage horror movies and your date prefers rom-coms, then you will certainly have a lot to discuss while waiting for your meal to arrive. The natural flow of a conversation would lead to talking about favorite actors, actresses, TV shows, and even round to books.
5. Would You Ever Do a Bungee Jump?
You can substitute any other extreme activity here because the specifics of the answer are not the important thing. Instead, it’s about discovering your date’s personality. Are they an adventurous soul? Do you match or clash on this front? It’s a solid feeler question that will help you get to know your date and go a long way to determining how much of a match you are. On top of that, it is an indicator of character. Is your date a risk taker in all walks of life? These are the sort of questions that will spawn from conversation starters such as this.
6. Tell Me Something Surprising About Yourself
As already mentioned, a first date is essentially an interview. It is a feeling-out process. Are you and your date a good fit for one another? Conversation starters that are aimed at extracting tidbits of information are crucial. Opening up the conversation and giving your date the chance to offer what they feel comfortable disclosing early on is a fantastic and non-invasive way to get to know each other. We all hold things back when we first meet people, but an open question such as this gives you the freedom to offer the information you are comfortable with. We all hold things back when we first meet people, but an open question such as this gives you the freedom to offer the information you are comfortable with.
7. Are You More Like Your Mom Or Your Dad?
Don’t worry; you’re not fishing for an invitation to meet your future inlaws already. It’s just another in a line of great conversation topics for a first date. Why? Because it’s an innocent conversation that everybody can relate to. Every family is full of great stories. The kind you tell on a first date, the kind you hold back for a little later, and the kind that you never talk about and hope stay buried forever. Unless your date has a particularly horrific life story relating to their family members, then this is always a safe start question. Further Reading: Top 200 Family Quotes
8. Do You Like Chinese Food?
We already asked about their favorite food, but this is a must-ask question. Why? Well, if they answer no, you know it’s time to ask for the check and run for the hills. What kind of person doesn’t at least like Chinese food? Sure, it’s definitely more on the side of silly, funny conversation starters–but you’d be surprised how much little stuff matters to people.
9. What Countries Would You Most and Least Like to Visit?
A double question, really. Everybody loves to talk about dream locations and where they would love to visit, but rarely do people ask about the options on the other end of the scale. It’s fun to flip conversational norms on their head and pick some conversation starters that your date might not have been prepared for. While setting out to trick your date isn’t a great piece of advice, it is more about the honest answers that often come from unexpected questions. By talking about the places you would least like to visit, you open the dialogue up to the same branching questions and, if anything, can be a more interesting and entertaining chat.
10. If You Could Open Any Business What Would It Be and Why?
Hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We all have them, and this is a great way to start a conversation on just that topic. Not everybody is lucky enough to be able to say that they do what they love for a living. Or that there is no one single thing they would rather be doing each day. By introducing the concept of a business, you also get the fun discussion coming up with business names. Laughing at terrible puns will always make a first date go well.
Come Again? – Convo Starters to be Avoided at All Costs
In the same way, there are a great many positive conversation starters. However, there are an equal number of topics that you should avoid. Conversation topics that come across as desperate, pushy, or even downright weird. Unless you’re looking to make a bad impression purposefully. Perhaps you have been set up on an unwanted blind date, or worse yet, hauled along for a double date set-up. It doesn’t matter. If you’re on a date, you should always at least give the impression you’re a decent person. Forget about chat-up lines, to make the evening really memorable you need to know how to handle yourself in a real conversation. Of course, bad conversation starters are to be avoided in all social situations, not just when dipping your toes into the dating pool. The following list of conversation topics to be avoided will cover everything from weddings and days in the office to funerals and visits to your inlaws. With that in mind, let’s look at the ten best conversation topics to avoid at any cost.
1. My Mom’s Picking Me Up at Ten
If you are looking for a quick way to end a date, then bringing up your mom as a way to break the ice is a great way to do it. By admitting she was your taxi service – and by default that you most likely live in her basement – you are sealing the deal and ensuring you end the night alone in that basement. This is probably one of the worst ways to start a conversation possible. Just. Don’t. Do. It… EVER!
2. Where Do You Stand on Sex After a First Date?
Another terrible idea for a first date ice-breaker is to bring up the ‘s’ word. Sure, there’s a great chance you are both thinking about it. Presuming you’re adults, there’s an even great chance that you have done it before, possibly more than once. However, even combined knowledge and experience never justify using sexually tinted conversation starters. They make you look desperate and create this big uncomfortable shadow that will happily loom over you both for the rest of the evening.
3. Have You Ever Had This Itching Between Your Toes?
Again, this or any other medical maladies-based conversation starters are big social no-no’s. It doesn’t matter if you’re on a date, going through your gym induction, or looking to fill that empty space at the start of an online meeting. Talking about any halfway disgusting thing related to your body is just not socially acceptable. Especially if it involves the words swelling, itching, leakage, flaky, or smell. Just leave that stuff for the consultation room. You might just find your conversational skills improve the minute you leave that social faux-pas at the door.
4. Who Are You Going to Vote For?
Politics … yuck! Even if you’re part of the social elite and a born and raised silver-spoon conservative, you never really talk openly about who you vote for. That includes the broader party spectrum just as much as it does the individuals. While it’s undeniably important to know if you’re hanging around with or dating a closet neo-nazi, there are ways and means of getting that information. Looking to open a dialogue with such a blunt introduction is only going to get you into trouble,
5. I Keep My Eyes Always on the LORD. With Him at My Right Hand, I Will not Be Shaken. Psalms 16:8
Religion and conversation starters should never mix. Ok, maybe if you’re using some Christian dating app or maybe hanging out at the church community center, but even then, you’d have to be a pretty hardcore region nut to lead a conversation with a bible quote. Not everybody is comfortably openly discussing their beliefs, and that goes equally for those that do and do not have a particular religious affiliation. There is nothing wrong with religion or being religious in any way or denomination. Just remember that when looking for conversation starters, you want to try and find some neutral ground. From where you test the waters, get a feel for who it is your chatting with. The topics can grow from there.
6. So I Just Got Paid Today… How Much Do You Reckon It Was?
As far as no-go conversation starters are concerned, this is the double whammy. First of all, you should never look to open a conversation with your personal finances. It’s poor form and just makes you look like a douchebag. There is far more to the world than money, and if you feel the next to rely on proclamations of your wealth in order to get close to people, you should really take a step back and better evaluate where you are with your life–it’ll be a memorable lesson.
7. Ok, There’s a Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead…
Humor can be a great equalizer in social situations. Everybody can appreciate a good joke, and if the atmosphere is a bit stiff or stilted, an injection of the right kind of humor can go a long way. However, looking to start a conversation on the back of a slew of rude/dodgy jokes is not the right way to do it. Nobody wants to hear your sexist, misogynistic, racially dividing jokes and cheap dark humor jokes. If that’s all you’ve got, well, maybe the humorous approach is not for you. If you have some normal jokes, then lead with them instead. Nothing ends a conversation quicker than that uncomfortable feeling that you’re talking with a racist or some other form of narrow-minded barbarian.
8. Moist!
It’s a short word, but no matter what context or where in a sentence you use it, things get a bit awkward really fast. So never use the word moist in any of your planned conversation starters. It’s just not worth it.
9. Do You Want to See Photos of my Kids?
Kids are great. They really are. Many of them are even quite cute. However, nobody wants to start a conversation with the focal topic being your little ankle-biters. Maybe later in the evening, perhaps as the natural flow of conversation brings you to that point, but not as a way to ignite a discussion. This is especially true when you are on a date or looking to impress someone at the bar. Unfortunately, kids are not known to be great at sealing the deal when it comes to romantic matters.
Harness the Power of a Good Conversation
There are many good that can come from just having a good solid conversation with someone. But, unfortunately, it’s an interpersonal skill that many people lack these days, as we hide away from the world.
The Best Connections Are Offline
Both because of the pandemic and because of the advent of social media and streaming platforms. We are living and consuming a rapidly digitized life, and it is all too easy to lose the ability to hold down a conversation with another human being. A conversation doesn’t come with typos or GIFs, and there are no emojis or powerfully deep memes to help you get out of a tricky spot or to confirm your undying affection for someone.
Getting the Conversation to Flow Naturally Is Empowering
When all is said and done, the ability to look another human being in the eye and talk to them without some business-based ultimatum or secret agenda is a powerful life skill and one that is growing in importance the less we do it. A good conversation is empowering, but it is also terrifying. Discussing a range of topics, including those that might not be of immediate interest to you, is not easy.
Conversation Starters Are Just the Beginning
That is another reason why conversation starters are so helpful. They give you a foothold and a place to lay the foundation for more extended dialogue. They are not designed to be the topic of discussion for the entire evening. Rather, they are intended to get you loosened up and ready for the real conversation to come. Think of it like stretching before you hit the gym.
Why We Need Small Talk
View in galleryPeople may be quick to write off the small talk, choosing instead for a more direct approach. However, there is a lot to be said for the ability to have a small-talk conversation. Small talk is an essential social skill that helps us decide our position in a group, and it allows us to form social circles based on individual gatherings and events. What may seem like a tedious and trivial chat about things with no real consequence may strike you as a complete waste of time. However, small talk plays a vital role in the psychology of a conversation. That is why many of the conversation starters on this list are small talk subjects. Broad and non-offensive with the possible scope to branch out into far more detailed discussions. They serve as a feeling stick—a verbal antenna of sorts.
Small Talk Fosters Empathy
Casting out small talk feelers allows you to gauge your fellow conversationalists’ general mood and interest levels. The core social niceties are breaking ice to pave the way for deeper exploration. If the ice is either too thick or simply doesn’t feel like breaking, then nobody is offended, and everybody can go their own way with ill-will or resentment. So the next time someone tries to occupy you with a bit of pointless babble, indulge them because they are simply feeling their way through a situation to understand the lay of the land.
Final Thoughts on the Best Conversation Starters
You are now armed with more than enough conversation starters to help you navigate even the trickiest of social situations. The great thing about conversation topics such as the ones we have listed is that they are not single-use items. Instead, many of them are perfectly acceptable to use over and over again. This is especially useful if you are often in a situation where you regularly meet new faces. There are, of course, hundreds of different conversation starters out there. So why not hit us with some of your favorite ones in the comments. We’d love to hear your go-to conversation catalysts. Is there any one conversation that lingers in the memory? Perhaps the first time you met your current partner, maybe, or possibly your best friend? Don’t be shy. Let us know in the comments. Or perhaps you have a conversational horror story that you are ready to get off your chest? Again, this is a safe space. You can share your narrative nightmares with us without worry.
